Remembering better days

It has not snowed since that day.
We used to play in the snow constantly.
It even snowed the day I lost you...
Despite this I WANT it to snow...
Somehow I feel like it'd make me feel closer to you. 
I miss those days when we were so carefree and innocent
Those days are gone....you are gone
I'm the only one left.
You. Mother Father.
All gone....yet I lived
Why?
What did I did to deserve to live?
I could not even protect those who meant most to me.
Sometimes when it is overcast like today I find myself reflecting on the good days before that horrible night.
Some childish part of me wants it to snow...as if that will somehow bring you back even though I know that wouldn't actually happen.
I'm sorry Koja.
I miss you.

Sad Xaibier is sad. I did wold form because...I can. I will explain more if asked but I don't wanna spoil too much.